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MelodicRose(OD) - Second Evaluation (April 2021)


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MelodicRose's Second Evaluation

Hello again friends!

My peers have nominated me (again) to post a general evaluation for a potential promotion to Major General. I have declined to post an eval during the last few times I was nominated.. and I hesitated to even post this eval, but figured this may be a good opportunity to listen to feedback from the community about my performance thus far and what they would like to see in the future.

 

Link to my last evaluation: MelodicRose's First Evaluation

To avoid the sadness I cause in my last evaluation, I have added things into spoilers so you don't have to read long essays like I usually write.

 

1* General Requirements:

Spoiler

Brigadier Generals

Leaders and representatives of their respective Divisions and pillars of their gaming community, providing for the members they are responsible for.

 

Core Expectations

- Attends Admin and General-Specific Meetings*

- Votes (with reasons) on all General Evaluations

- Supports the needs of Clan members to the best of their ability

- Enforces Clan values and maintains a positive gaming environment

 

Practical Expectations

- Manage the needs of their Divisions and the members in it (Promotions, medals, recruitment powers, rank changes, etc.)

- Support their Division through consistent recruitment or events

- Actively involved in topics posted in the General's Board**

- Attends Community Meetings

 

Exceptional Expectations

- Presenting ideas or discussions of their own in the General's Board

- Taking the initiative to implement approved changes and turn ideas into reality

- Contributing in some form to the Clan as a whole, (monthly Clan-wide events or providing coding support for the website)

- A major contributor to the leading of a large division who recognizes, mentors, and provides opportunities for future leaders

- Votes on all major Community changes

*Exclusions apply for time zone conflicts

**Brigadier Generals are allowed to be exempt from discussions and voting.

 

2* General Requirements:

Spoiler

Major General

Leaders of the broader community expanding beyond their own Division.

 

Core Expectations

- Attends Admin and General-Specific Meetings*

- Votes on all major Community changes

- Votes (with reasons) on all General Evaluations

- Supports the needs of Clan members to the best of their ability

- Enforces Clan values and maintains a positive gaming environment

 

Practical Expectations

- Manage the needs of their Divisions and the members in it (Promotions, medals, recruitment powers, rank changes, etc.)

- Support their Division through consistent recruitment or events

- Actively involved in topics posted in the General's Board

- Presenting ideas or discussions of their own in the General's Board

- Attends Community Meetings

- Capable problem-solvers that rarely require help to deal with issues

 

Exceptional Expectations

- Taking the initiative to implement approved changes and turn ideas into reality

- Contributing in some form to the Clan as a whole (monthly Clan-wide events or providing coding support for the website)

- A major contributor to the leading of a large division who recognizes, mentors, and provides opportunities for future leaders

*Exclusions apply for time zone conflicts

 

Some info about me:

Spoiler

My name is Kait, or ya’ll can continue to call me Rose. Either option is fine. I’m your friendly weather witch - meaning that I am a consulting meteorologist by trade but I storm chase and thoroughly enjoy making sure people are weather aware in my spare time as well. I’m still a k-pop addicted gamer, nothing has changed on that front. I currently live in the central plains (Kansas), but am trying my hardest to get back to the east coast. My ultimate goal is to evacuate the forecasting field and move to more of an emergency management focus in the future - I love communicating the weather and have been known to make weather related posts in my spare time when there is hazardous weather threatening the States. I am a fairly quiet person until I get to know a group of people or game with people. I will hop into channels from time to time, but may not say a lot until I feel comfortable. It’s weird, I know. I’m a proud holder of several “Quietest Member in OD” awards, and I treasure them greatly 😉

I joined OD in mid-2015 under the name of SilentMelodies. I’ve played under several of the MMO games that OD has brought up over the years, led the FFXIV division for a period of time, dipped my toes in other game genres, etc. As of late, I’ve just enjoyed the company of the community while I wait for the fantasy MMO game market to become less stale. 

To be open and transparent, I took an IA in early February as I thought I was going to be making another large move after a really great interview process, only to be shot down and declined the position. I was on IA for a couple of weeks to get my mental health back together (I had been on a downward spiral for a while.. Parents being super ill with covid, the loss of Miss Julie, super unhappy with my job, and then my “way out” taken away from me). I’m still working on it and my mental headspace is still not 100%, but I’ve been happier being back around the community.

 

What have I been up to since my first evaluation?

Spoiler
  • Social Media Team
    • I have been advertising our recruitment in community meetings that I am able to attend, but have been met with a wall of sorts or an overall lack of interest in participation.
    • Social media team is currently sitting at 2 “admin” roles (myself and JD) and 2 “editor/member” roles (Purplez and Dabomb).
    • Currently am working on getting channels set up on Discord for suggestions/content to post that community members can interact with, as well as a “team only” channel where the team can discuss. This is in an effort to move communication to Discord as the overall lull on forums is not helping us get the word out.
  • Medal Rejuvenation Project
    • Assisted in sifting through medals that we should keep, modify, or retire going forward.
    • Phase 2 is still starting on this front, but I will continue to work with Triny & JD through this process.
  • Community Game Nights
    • I hosted a few of these in an attempt to get them back off the ground before winter began. Once winter began, my work life began to melt into 12h days and uncertain schedules - this is something I intend to work with people on reviving now that the winter season is coming to a close.
  • Unhealthily active on Discord/Forums
    • I am on these almost 24/7, even during working hours. I answer questions that are posed, mostly during the early morning hours since that is when I am on my PC the most during the winter months before my shifts change again. I’ve answered questions regarding Discord role permissions and assisted people in getting to where they need to be for potential recruitment or looking for people in a game.
  • Admin/General/Community Meetings
    • As an employee of a 24/7 operation, my schedule is all over the place. It’s also set in stone 2-3 months in advance, so I can’t make changes when I find out the exact meeting dates a few weeks before they happen. I do my best to attend these meetings when my work schedule permits (as a new-ish employee still, I typically get the late evening/early morning shifts). In the event that I cannot attend meetings, I always listen to the meeting recordings so I am up to speed on how votes turned out and what changes have been brought up. 
  • Evaluation Participation
    • I have provided feedback, questions, and votes for my peers during every evaluation process since my promotion to 1*.
  • Participation in private leadership boards
    • This includes primarily General’s & division admin forums.

 

What are my goals for the future?

Spoiler
  • Social Media Team
    • I would really like to see the social media team get off the ground. I will continue to put effort into recruiting and pushing to get people involved with the backend side of things. This will not change whether I’m promoted or not. 
  • Community Involvement
    • Divisions - I’m a freebird and have been a freebird for a while. I haven’t actively played a game that OD hosts in a hot minute and I would like to do that again, whether that be jumping back into Diablo 3 at the season reset, trying to get people together again on League (I play almost daily regardless), or eventually finding a game that grabs my interest enough to start a squad again.
    • Voice channels - A common discussion I’ve heard over the past several months is that it seems like that upper-leadership are hidden, you don’t see a lot of them around. I do my best to pop around chat channels as that is where I am most comfortable, but I want to make an effort to come say hello to folks when I am able to during the daytime hours.
    • Game nights - Let's bring back that Among Us, Fall Guys, and more. I enjoyed those game nights and it brought together several people from different divisions. I think it's important that we connect more as a community sometimes rather than being hidden in our division channels all the time! We have some pretty cool peeps in OD, I enjoy seeing people brought together and meeting each other.

 

Concluding remarks?

I'm sure there is much more I am perhaps missing, but this basically summarizes where I have dipped my toes in over the last several months and where I would like to be in the future. I am unsure if I deserve a promotion, if I am to be honest. I am uncertain if my activities and participation thus far prove that I am ready or worthy of the second star, but I want to use this as a learning opportunity and a moment to grow as a leader. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them and I will respond as soon as I can.

Edited by MelodicRose(OD)
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Kait,

 

I appreciate all you do for our clan.  And you aren't lying, you do spend an unhealthy amount of time on the forums.  I felt your absence when you were IA.  Glad you are back.

 

My questions for you:

 

1. What are your plans to bring our social media to the forefront?

2. What do you feel is the most lacking thing in the clan right now?

3. What is the one thing that could bring this community closer?

 

P.S. Hope you can get the community game nights going again.  Those are always fun times.

 

 

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On 3/27/2021 at 1:15 PM, RadarRick(OD) said:

Kait,

 

I appreciate all you do for our clan.  And you aren't lying, you do spend an unhealthy amount of time on the forums.  I felt your absence when you were IA.  Glad you are back.

 

My questions for you:

 

1. What are your plans to bring our social media to the forefront?

2. What do you feel is the most lacking thing in the clan right now?

3. What is the one thing that could bring this community closer?

 

P.S. Hope you can get the community game nights going again.  Those are always fun times.

 

 

Thank you for the questions 😄

  1. Social media isn't going to go anywhere if we are so few and if there is a lack of interactions. My first goal is to continue to advertise that the team is recruiting people who are interested in posting content on the Twitter or the Facebook page. I had been posting on forums that we are recruiting, but forum activity as a whole since the move to Discord has been on a decline. This will likely continue especially with the effort to make recruiting more feasible through the Discord and not through the website directly. Because of this, moving discussions, suggestions, and overall team discussion onto the platform that has the most visibility seems like the most logical direction to go. While I cannot force interest in the social media platforms and the team itself, advertising and discussing on Discord is a good start. Secondly, a major player in getting visibility to the social media platforms is encouraging more active posting of content that people of all walks of our community are interested in. This could be in the form of memes, game content, etc. My goal is to have at least one person from each division on the social media team - the reasoning for this is to have content posted from all of our active divisions. At the end of the day, having more than less than a handful of people on the team and encouraging active posting of content are the current goals. Platforms that actively post typically garner more views to those platforms, but we need the helping hands to help post to begin with in order to get there. I will be continuing to advertise in our meetings (especially the community meetings since I want all members to have the opportunity to participate) and go from there.
  2. The most lacking thing, in my opinion, is interaction. We all seem so divided into our division-specific channels and we don't often venture outside of them. As a member not in a division, it would be lovely to see more people gaming amongst each other as a community rather than hidden in our channels all the time. I enjoy the social interaction of the clan, and I don't feel it is as active as it once was.
  3. This is going to tie into my answer to your second question, or maybe even further add onto it. What is the one thing that we all have in common? Gaming. We all love to game and we clearly all enjoy doing it in somewhat of a group fashion or we wouldn't have joined a large community such as OD. Planning more game nights that encourage all to come together and enjoy a fun, stress-free game is one way. A second thing that comes to mind is trying to fill the gap between "leadership" and "normal members," is almost how it's described sometimes. There have been many comments about not really knowing the people within the generals+ ranks, which is concerning. Encouraging these members to also attend these game nights, community meetings, or even having something as simple as a "get to know ya" section could help bridge that divide that has been discussed as of late.
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Rose,

 

Your presence in the community is known by many. While you don't often appear in voice channels a lot. You're often found poking around many of the chat channels providing weather news, updates etc... or just being friendly as one does. You're a nice person to have around. 

 

As far as you presence as a General. I'm always glad to have you around. You are confident in the stances you take and you don't back down without a fight. You gather hard data to back your arguments. But you are always willing to mend your opinion on something when new data is presented and support the overall will of the administration even if it's not the idea that you wish to prevail.

 

Yes you may not be able to attend many meetings due to your current work situation. But this isn't a foreign situation for the Generals, nor do I think should it be a disqualifying factor as you're plenty active elsewhere like discord, the forums, etc...

 

But anyways, I do have a question or two. 

 

----

 

I understand that you feel the Social Media team is currently in a slump as far as participation, membership, content etc... You've laid out your plan on how you're going to continue to attempt to resolve these issues. 

 

But, as a General that falls more on the administrative than gaming side. Are there any other projects or teams that you plan on participating on/with going forward to increase your activity within the community?

 

If yes? What do you think you'll be bringing to this project/team that has been missing to make it more successful.

 

---

 

Rose,

 

If all the stars aligned and you could pick your job schedule. You had all the time in the world. Money was no object and you didn't need approval from anyone. 

 

What project or goal would you set for yourself as a General in OD to move our community forward even further that you think we've been lacking in. 

 

 

 

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  Ok after sometime finally set to the side, and a bit to think I can finally comment on your eval. I have seen you around back during your start in OD, and it was a struggle to get you to talk to me sometimes, but I feel like I got you to open up back then. Despite all good I still have some concerns to bring up. 

 

              What I like.

    1. You are very friendly.

    2. I see you on the discord and forums.

    3. You are heavily community driven like me.

 

             What I don't like.

     1. You are not available due to work.

     

           Questions

      1. Can you explain why the medals team seem to be going through a huge inactive slump?

     2. Why do you think the social media squad has not truly taken off?

     3. What goals have you felt satisfied with since you became a one star, completed or not?

     4. What major goals have you completed since you got your star?

     5. Do you feel like OD is heading in the right direction?

     6. What is your vision for OD's future?

     7. How will you lead OD to that future?

     8. What is your biggest regret in OD?

 

          The elephant in the room.

 

On 3/27/2021 at 4:39 AM, MelodicRose(OD) said:

I am unsure if I deserve a promotion, if I am to be honest. I am uncertain if my activities and participation thus far prove that I am ready or worthy of the second star,

     Understandably your activity leaves quite a bit wanting, and is the biggest drawback. Yet this sentence shows me either you lack self confidence in knowing your drawbacks, or you are being honest about how you feel. Its nice to see someone can hold themselves accountable, but if its a lack of confidence then it should be built up over time. Can you tell me abit on what is going through your mind when you made this comment?

 

     

    

Edited by LightningWolves(OD)
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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, JD(OD) said:

I understand that you feel the Social Media team is currently in a slump as far as participation, membership, content etc... You've laid out your plan on how you're going to continue to attempt to resolve these issues. 

 

But, as a General that falls more on the administrative than gaming side. Are there any other projects or teams that you plan on participating on/with going forward to increase your activity within the community?

 

If yes? What do you think you'll be bringing to this project/team that has been missing to make it more successful.

I see what you've done here 😛
I've actually spoken to you recently about joining the Discord team and getting properly trained and made up to speed to help alleviate some of the stress on your end and assist in any current plans/future plans regarding the Discord. The plans for that integration onto the team start on Wednesday, so I'm unsure entirely what you are violently tossing me into, but I'm excited to busy myself with the thought 😛 I wouldn't say something is "missing" regarding the Discord team, but having more people involved that know how the behind the scenes of Discord works would be A - extremely beneficial to you and to the team, B - help drag some of this work load off of your shoulders, and C - would allow for another person (who is typically around during odd hours) to answer questions and help members with their Discord concerns.

 

3 hours ago, JD(OD) said:

Rose,

 

If all the stars aligned and you could pick your job schedule. You had all the time in the world. Money was no object and you didn't need approval from anyone. 

 

What project or goal would you set for yourself as a General in OD to move our community forward even further that you think we've been lacking in. 

I feel that I am beating the horse dead here sometimes, but becoming more active as a "community general," creating events and promoting community activity as a whole to come together. We have some cool peeps in OD but we don't see them often except in their division specific channels. I'd like to see people out and about more, gaming together a little bit more, interacting with each other more - and that's a goal I would jump into if life didn't exist, as you've put it 🙂

 

1 hour ago, LightningWolves(OD) said:

       What I don't like.

     1. You are not available due to work.

While this isn't one of your questions - this statement bothers me as I am available most of the time, I just cannot attend meetings and things of that nature as often as I'd like. I make myself apparent on Discord/Forums, participate in discussions, listen to recordings, etc. My work schedule just makes it seem like I am a nocturnal being.. or live on the other side of the planet. 

 

Onto your questions:

1 hour ago, LightningWolves(OD) said:

     Questions

      1. Can you explain why the medals team seem to be going through a huge inactive slump?

     2. Why do you think the social media squad has not truly taken off?

     3. What goals have you felt satisfied with since you became a one star, completed or not?

     4. What major goals have you completed since you got your star?

     5. Do you feel like OD is heading in the right direction?

     6. What is your vision for OD's future?

     7. How will you lead OD to that future?

     8. What is your biggest regret in OD?

  1. Time? - Our last meeting we had was scheduled to be Feb 20th (which I was IA for). I know JD has been running thin with Discord, Triny is leading a division, and I recently came off an IA so I missed this meeting. The struggle as of late is finding a time that we can all meet together, or at least 2 of us can meet together to begin discussing phase 2. I feel this discussion should happen in a message group so we can get this show on the road. I'd like to see it move forward as well. 
  2. I'm going to be honest, lack of interest. While I can advertise and encourage members to DM me to discuss their interests in social media and posting - this is not something I can force people to be interested in. Losing active posting members last year was a hit, and we haven't quite recovered from it. The second thing is lack of content being presented from divisions. I'd love to showcase what people are doing in their games, and that was a much easier thing to do when activity was higher on forums as people posted screenshots and videos that we could then ask to post on our social media pages. This has become a little bit more difficult to do with all activity moving mostly to Discord. I've had a couple leaders reach out to me with what they're doing, but it's mostly stalking Discord channels looking for screenies and videos of what the groups are doing.
  3. The major goal I had when I got my star was to involve myself in discussions going on in leadership. I've enjoyed the topics and debates that have been had in the General's forums and having the opportunity to participate in shaping changes that hopefully with better the clan as a whole has been a fruitful experience and an experience I've grown to enjoy immensely. 
  4. See answer to question 3.
  5. I don't think it's headed in a wrong direction, but I think we are making steps towards moving in the right direction. Namely, involvement from officers and restructuring the expectations of leaders. The fruitful conversations that are happening from our up and coming leaders. The efforts made to create game nights that are advertised on Discord. The clan had been in a bit of a lull in terms of discussion from leadership roles outside of generals board, it's encouraging to see so much life happening in division admin & officers forums. It's also exciting to see other people interested in clan-wide participation every so often.
  6. My vision is to encourage more participation on a clan-wide level and encourage more changes and discussions to be had that focus on the community as a whole. I think we still have some work to do on encouraging our upper-leadership to be community participators, especially as they move higher through the ranks. There is a divide that needs to be filled, which I've been somewhat-ish vocal about, and I think once that divide is filled the clan would be a better place because of it. I feel like I'm still beating this horse dead. See my last reply to RadarRick about my thoughts on this divide. We are tasked with making changes to the community but we don't interact as a whole with the community. Something feels off about that.
  7. By becoming more outspoken about my concerns on the matter. Discussions of rank expectations are still open and fluid, and I still aim to discuss this problem during them. 
  8. My childish outlook in the past and the drama I was involved in previously. Happily moved on from that 😉

 

1 hour ago, LightningWolves(OD) said:

 Understandably your activity leaves quite a bit wanting, and is the biggest drawback. Yet this sentence shows me either you lack self confidence in knowing your drawbacks, or you are being honest about how you feel. Its nice to see someone can hold themselves accountable, but if its a lack of confidence then it should be built up over time. Can you tell me abit on what is going through your mind when you made this comment?

I wouldn't necessarily call is lack of self confidence, but more-so an honest self-evaluation. When I was writing my evaluation, I was telling JD at the time that I was struggling to find things that I have done that make me noteworthy. I lead a team that has struggled in the activity department since it started but I refuse to give up on it and spend my spare time trying to brainstorm ways to fix the problem.. and the fixes do not work. I see my peers doing great things, JD showing Discord who is boss, several generals within division leadership, etc, and then I look at what I have accomplished in my short time as general and it feels small compared to what my peers are doing. I do not feel I am ready for the second star, but I have been nominated three times now for a promotion eval (October/January/now) and have declined the previous two times. I figured with the third nomination, while I do not understand quite yet why the same certain few people have put me up again, I should at least put up the evaluation to obtain feedback on where I can continue to improve going forward since I've now been a general for over 6 months. So, promotion or not, this evaluation was intended to be a discussion on what concerns people have and what people would like to see from me as a general moving forward 🙂

Edited by MelodicRose(OD)
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1 hour ago, MelodicRose(OD) said:

While this isn't one of your questions - this statement bothers me as I am available most of the time, I just cannot attend meetings and things of that nature as often as I'd like. I make myself apparent on Discord/Forums, participate in discussions, listen to recordings, etc. My work schedule just makes it seem like I am a nocturnal being.. or live on the other side of the planet. 

    Well maybe I could of word this more accurately to say more not more available out side of text in Discord. I am sure you and I both would like to see you have more time to spend with us again. This is not something I can hold against you as its your job, and you do alot of good for me in weather reports.

 

1 hour ago, MelodicRose(OD) said:

was telling JD at the time that I was struggling to find things that I have done that make me noteworthy. I lead a team that has struggled in the activity department since it started but I refuse to give up on it and spend my spare time trying to brainstorm ways to fix the problem.. and the fixes do not work. I see my peers doing great things, JD showing Discord who is boss, several generals within division leadership, etc, and then I look at what I have accomplished in my short time as general and it feels small compared to what my peers are doing.

    Honestly you are being a bit to harsh on yourself on this one. Lets take me for example, I am not running a big fancy division like Halo or LoL, but I have been a big splash between my activity on the forums, assiting and coaching new and existing officers, running a active squad, and hosting community meetings. If I can make a impact for being a community officer, then you can do the same as a general. I want to see what you can do and show me that you have what it takes, and hopeful you will get what you envision. 

   

                Questions

    1. Who is the most influential person in your rise to OD?

    2. What was the harshest criticism you have ever recieved?

    3. Can you give me examples on what things you have done while you are only available through text?

    4. Are you only into MMORPGs?

    5. Would you ever play a TTRPG? 

    6. How do you like working with the other generals?

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4 hours ago, LightningWolves(OD) said:

          Questions

    1. Who is the most influential person in your rise to OD?

    2. What was the harshest criticism you have ever recieved?

    3. Can you give me examples on what things you have done while you are only available through text?

    4. Are you only into MMORPGs?

    5. Would you ever play a TTRPG? 

    6. How do you like working with the other generals?

  1. I would say Aerineth. He was my active mentor while I lead the FFXIV division and helped me learn the ropes as I climbed through the ranks during that time. He assisted me and mentored me in leadership duties and expectations, to which I passed onto Kira (ex-OD, up and coming officer from FFXIV at the time). To this day, I still bother him with questions, sometimes really dumb ones, and he still is willing to help me out and answer anything I throw at him. Other notable members - Terra (oh god) and JD (probably my closest friend in OD at this point).
  2. I've had several that stick out to me, I won't provide names of whom said these things. As noted in my previous eval, I was pretty pessimistic on how OD ran and how leadership as a whole acted for a period of time in OD. This translated to comments such as these while I continued to move up through the ranks: "However I take a look at what Rose is doing within the community and I look at her responses and I feel strongly she has some work to do with her passive aggressive tendencies. I have taken notice on a few things she replied on when she didn't get her way or it wasn't how she thought it should be she came off as very passive aggressive and almost rude." "You have a pretty poor attitude and are quick to jump the gun and judge people, this is something you should work on as you move up in administration you will be tasked with resolving things and that mindset can be a hindrance."
  3. Message members who are DSL'ing down/DSL'ing out when I see they are active in the Discord, helped members figure out where exactly they should be posting in the Discord to get into guilds/groups, assisted with problems regarding members not able to see chat channels because they role clicked them away on accident, helped users find our social media pages and differentiate the current ones from the old ones. That is from mostly Discord. On forums, I can post on topics freely through text and actually prefer it that way almost (I can sometimes struggle with putting my thoughts into verbal words), but vocal meetings are important too 🙂
  4. I wouldn't say I'm only into MMORPGs, but it is definitely my favorite game genre. I enjoy a good fantasy MMO with a good story that will keep me intrigued for a long period of time. During my time in OD, I've been mostly in the divisions that are formed from MMORPG games (I was recruited during AION, played BDO/Blade & Soul/TERA/FFXIV/etc). I do play other things, mostly League of Legends or modded Minecraft (Pixelmon) these days.. I've also played Diablo 3 but find the Diablo series very repetitive.
  5. I'm going to be honest, probably not. I'm open to new things, but I truly do not really have an interest in TTRPG games.
  6. I enjoy it more than I thought I would? It's interesting to see how people with differing thoughts and opinions can debate on topics (sometimes for a long time..) and come up with a common ground that betters the community as a whole. I enjoy those conversations and participating in them, it's probably one of my favorite things as a "leader" of sorts.
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2 hours ago, MelodicRose(OD) said:

I've had several that stick out to me, I won't provide names of whom said these things. As noted in my previous eval, I was pretty pessimistic on how OD ran and how leadership as a whole acted for a period of time in OD. This translated to comments such as these while I continued to move up through the ranks: "However I take a look at what Rose is doing within the community and I look at her responses and I feel strongly she has some work to do with her passive aggressive tendencies. I have taken notice on a few things she replied on when she didn't get her way or it wasn't how she thought it should be she came off as very passive aggressive and almost rude." "You have a pretty poor attitude and are quick to jump the gun and judge people, this is something you should work on as you move up in administration you will be tasked with resolving things and that mindset can be a hindrance."

   This sparks the question on how bad these "passive aggressive tendencies" in the past, and do they spawn up any more?

 

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, LightningWolves(OD) said:

This sparks the question on how bad these "passive aggressive tendencies" in the past, and do they spawn up any more?

"The way things are being handled is kind of demotivating.. feel free to call me whiney again for saying that." - Nov. 29, 2018

"Disappointed." - Nov. 19, 2018

"The future seems brighter" - Oct. 31, 2017

"Truly amazing how things work out for others that would never be allowed to for some of us" - Oct. 12, 2017

"How does Rose really feel.. at a standstill with anything she wants to get started. I guess I'm just feeling extremely down today ^^.." - Sept. 4, 2017

"Someday I'll see my name up there ~" - Sept. 1, 2017

"Giving up for a pretty decent amount of time.. You know where to find me if you need me ;D" - Aug. 21, 2017

"So much for trying, only to be ignored." - Apr. 29, 2017

"Struggling to find motivation to keep trying to find a "home."" - Apr. 7, 2017

 

I could continue to find more, but I'll spare you.  The top one is my "most recent" pessimistic status update, the bottom is is as far back as I'm going to continue to go. In my opinion, no they do not happen like this anymore - especially after having discussions with upper-leadership at the time (mainly Terra). If you read my last eval, she actually commented on this positive change and asked what sparked the better thoughts as a whole. I will provide it below:

 

Quote
MelodicRose(OD) said:

Honestly running out of reasons to keep playing ._. Why play when the people you used to be friends with have changed with their newfound power. -shrug-.

 

So much for trying, only to be ignored.

 

It appears that it is finally time.. -wave -

 

I look forward to seeing these done more often. It's been a while since we've had one - and with many people home or home more often right now, it'd be a good time to get some in

 

Now that we have a specialized section for both our OD platforms, I have decided to make individualized suggestion threads for both Facebook and Twitter.

 

I've kept to helping get the Minecraft division to be a living thing, and brainstorming how we can extend our social media & streaming reach

 

Like night and day.

Tell me about the journey that changed you from a font of pessimism and melancholy into a source of amiability and willingness.

 

To which I responded:

Quote

I've learned that being passive aggressive in status posts and overall demeanor is not going to do much of anything other than make people think you're childish. In order to want to be included in discussions or be taken seriously in general, you need to not give up after a bad interaction and keep trying to persist and discuss. My statuses were childish, obviously, but they got me no where and sitting there and acting like a child will continue to get me no where. Sitting down and bringing up my problems or concerns to people and working on a resolution that has a positive outcome was a better choice and one that I have continued to do more of with the people around me.

 

You can see the exacts here: 

 

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On 3/27/2021 at 4:39 AM, MelodicRose(OD) said:

I’m still working on it and my mental headspace is still not 100%, but I’ve been happier being back around the community.

This is a giant strength to know this about yourself, It is not solely about a moment in the path we are on, but more the journey that gets us to our goals, one can only admit failure and defeat when we choose not to continue to pursue our destiny. I at times have found solidarity and peace with in the community and its members here for sure.

 

On 3/27/2021 at 4:39 AM, MelodicRose(OD) said:

Community Involvement

  • Divisions - I’m a freebird and have been a freebird for a while. I haven’t actively played a game that OD hosts in a hot minute and I would like to do that again, whether that be jumping back into Diablo 3 at the season reset, trying to get people together again on League (I play almost daily regardless), or eventually finding a game that grabs my interest enough to start a squad again.

I see no problem with being a Freebird , I can appreciate a good Lynard Skynard tune for damn sure. They don't make them like that anymore.

 

Question : What is a new example you could envision bringing members together with a common interest to build on comradery and make new friendships with in the clan?

 

Question : How do you feel about the values of Integrity, Honesty, Responsibility and Merit?

 

Question : Do you think "Passive Aggressive Behavior" creates internal resentment and breeds internal anger?

 

Thank you for all you do for Clan OD and continually make it a great gaming community, Also for posting a great Eval.

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Thank you for taking the time to post an evaluation Rose.  I know it is time consuming and frustrating at times answering questions and reading critiques.  First, I want to say I have seen a definite improvement in the tenor of your comments on threads on the forum.  It is obvious that you take your time to read what others write and then put your own spin on issues.  There are some areas that I have questions for you on.

 

Social Media forum posts started by you.

10/14/18 - a post made stated you had started streaming

5/18/19 - a post made in the Admin/Division forum with a social media update

4/18/20 - a post in the Facebook sub forum

12/4/20 - a post in the general part of the forum about recruiting for social media.

 

That is only 4 posts started by you in the last 3 years with regard to social media.  My question to you relates to what has noticeably changed with regard to social media, if anything, besides the Discord part that JD was in charge of, has happened in the last few years?  You've mentioned Reddit several times in posts and evals, but what progress if any have you made?  

 

The next part has to do with comments you made in social media threads started by others:

 

What other changes and improvements are you thinking of here ._. It seems people have many thoughts
 but I have yet to hear much of anything from anyone... which is beginning to get 
irritating on my part as I want to get this on board again and it is beginning
 to seem like it's being taken out of my hands as of late.

-------

If you want me to work with people, I have to know that people are wanting to 
discuss such things before they include interest in things like eval periods and threads.
 I wasn't aware half these people had wanted anything to do with the topic of social 
media until I read about it on evals and threads like these. I've been here with 
social media since Xayj has allowed me, roughly a year, I haven't heard anything
from these people until I spoke out about it. It is not only I who can do the
 discussion speaking, especially when I am unaware of interest until it seems 
to benefit someone.

--------------

There also should be some sort of communication with me - which also isn't happening.
 I'm unaware of any kind of discussion within social media until it's already
 included in things like meetings and such, no one has initiated such conversation 
with me until after I call people out on it. I may not be in a division and 
completely involved anymore because of it, but damn I want to be part of this
 community and part of this endeavor, so please include me in such conversations.

 

 

https://forum.overdosed.net/topic/68435-social-media-suggestion/#comments

 

 I'm not opposed to a little squad unit.. once I see there is enough interest to actually garner the need for it. 
The social media aspect was my little interest project and I was excited to partake in it when Xayj allowed me to. 
I'd still like to partake in it and having some helping hands would be cool.. I'm assuming this would be a committee of sorts with a leader?
I'm curious to hear more and what setup should be in place. Hopefully it doesn't involve shushing Rose onto the curb (pls no.. this is the only thing I have left to cling to in OD 
(pls don't take this seriously.. kind of serious though)). 

 

Do you feel the above comments made by you can at times discourage members from trying to submit ideas or offers of help with regard to social media for the Clan?  How is your outlook today?  What are your plans to intensify recruiting efforts for an increased presence of social media for the Clan?

 

Finally, since your console use is so low, only 2 mentions in the logs for 2021, what are your specific plans to get to know more members to be able to promote or vote on members?

 

 

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On 3/30/2021 at 11:40 PM, MineNotYour(OD) said:

I see no problem with being a Freebird , I can appreciate a good Lynard Skynard tune for damn sure. They don't make them like that anymore.

 

Question : What is a new example you could envision bringing members together with a common interest to build on comradery and make new friendships with in the clan?

 

Question : How do you feel about the values of Integrity, Honesty, Responsibility and Merit?

 

Question : Do you think "Passive Aggressive Behavior" creates internal resentment and breeds internal anger?

 

Thank you for all you do for Clan OD and continually make it a great gaming community, Also for posting a great Eval.

Not the largest fan of that type of music, but my dad listened to stuff like that alot when I was growing up - so I have an appreciation for it in a way and occasionally will listen to it when I feel homesick hah 😛

I'll number your questions, makes it a little easier for my brain if you don't mind 😄

  1. Like I had mentioned several times before, community game night are the best way to go, in my opinion. It'd be lovely to see them done more consistently and potentially more often rather than helter skelter adding them in every so often. We are originally all here to game, so finding games that we can play as large groups and come together on is lovely. When I was hosting the few Among Us night back in early winter - we had several people come in from D2/LoL/PoE/SC2, and I still see several of these faces interacting and gaming with each other on Discord. It's pretty cool to see and I consider that a success of sorts.
  2. I think they are all excellent values to have, including in the community. They all in a sense tie in with one another, you're expected to keep your promises and be honest if something is not quite right. And if you are able to keep these values up (keeping your words, being honest about struggles, working on responsibilities) you are eventually rewarded for it. These are traits I look for in other people, especially around eval season, and I am sure others are looking for in me.
  3. I think passive aggressive behavior stems from internal resentment and internal anger mainly, not the other way around. My passive aggressiveness was as such because I found when I tried to hit things on the head, it almost felt like I ran into a wall when trying to bring things up. This angered me, frustrated me, made me less faithful in our leadership at the time and ultimately lead me to stating things passively in passing - but in a way that was visible and people knew I was annoyed by the going on's. Not the best way in going about things, maybe from a little bit of experience 🙂
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Posted (edited)
On 3/31/2021 at 3:27 AM, Purplez(OD) said:

That is only 4 posts started by you in the last 3 years with regard to social media.  My question to you relates to what has noticeably changed with regard to social media, if anything, besides the Discord part that JD was in charge of, has happened in the last few years?  You've mentioned Reddit several times in posts and evals, but what progress if any have you made?  

What has noticeably changed is the lack of members in the group and the lack of consistent posting occurring, which is problematic and demotivating to me. I've also had the general feeling of sole leadership for a bit of time now - which has been somewhat difficult in a sense when you are nocturnal. I want to have meetings and I want people to come to me with their ideas and interests - but after several attempts to advertise on the Discord and in community meetings I have been left without much. I've heard from leaders that there are people interested and that they will come to me to discuss how they can join the team - but I've heard nothing. The general lack of discussion occurring on forums leaves less to be desired for in terms of posting on the forums for recruiting and such. Reddit will not be launched until consistent posting on our current two platforms begins to occur - adding another platform into the fray when we do not have consistent content right now seems problematic and will continue to add to the inactive demeanor of the team. There is already some background subtle planning of how we can potentially make posting easier and interact that with the Discord team. Then there comes trying to get the interest into the team - and that has been the big struggle as stated in my previous evaluation as well.

 

On 3/31/2021 at 3:27 AM, Purplez(OD) said:

Do you feel the above comments made by you can at times discourage members from trying to submit ideas or offers of help with regard to social media for the Clan?  How is your outlook today?  What are your plans to intensify recruiting efforts for an increased presence of social media for the Clan?

I do not think so, because these comments were made (especially the earlier comments) when discussions involving the team were occurring in private spaces that I could not participate in, and then I would receive feedback and potential changes through PM after there was no discussion with me or allowing of participation from me. It felt like I was being pushed out as a leader of this endeavor, which was extremely frustrating after I spent so much of my spare time and my thoughts thinking about this project and actively wanting to work on this project. There was plenty of discussion happening apparently, but there was no involvement of the leader of the team itself. That is a separate problem which was discussed with leadership at the time, and a problem that has since been resolved. I have always been encouraging of ideas and suggestions brought forth to the team, but it has to actually be brought forth to the team rather than whispered about in private sections with no interaction from the team itself. I've made comments on it during the community meetings that I can attend that we are welcome to any and all suggestions - hence the ideas of posting more memes and such, but it's been stone silent. In terms of intensifying recruiting efforts, I will be posting more about it in division channels (especially since the goal is at least 1 member from each division) and continuing to advertise through meetings that we can attend. The one thing I have been debating about is looking for another leader to help on the leadership front since JD has been swamped with Discord stuff and is still actively assisting assisting divisions in terms of leadership - but this is a discussion I need to have with him once I have a full idea composed on how that would work, especially since it would require knowledge of social media and the inner working of permissions and such.

 

On 3/31/2021 at 3:27 AM, Purplez(OD) said:

Finally, since your console use is so low, only 2 mentions in the logs for 2021, what are your specific plans to get to know more members to be able to promote or vote on members?

 

I'm a firm believer of not fast tracking people up through ranks without seeing them active on platforms. I cannot judge their activity in game usually because I do not play their games, and if I do not see them actively on the Discord or on the forums - then I will not vote. Of course being able to sit around in Discord voice more often now that my shifts are changing to more daytime/evening shifts should allow me to interact with users and I would be able to vote on those users more often. 

 

On 3/31/2021 at 3:27 AM, Purplez(OD) said:

Thank you for taking the time to post an evaluation Rose.  I know it is time consuming and frustrating at times answering questions and reading critiques.  First, I want to say I have seen a definite improvement in the tenor of your comments on threads on the forum.  It is obvious that you take your time to read what others write and then put your own spin on issues. 

Lastly, thank you for this comment. I don't mind reading critiques and answering people's questions - that's the positive of the evaluation process.. the outcome and goal is to grow as a leader. I will admit, it's a little difficult this time around since I have been a bit on a mental low and feeling like I've thrown the ball at the ground in terms of social media (the inactivity of social media truly bothers me a lot) - but in the end it's for the better. I appreciate that you can see I've been trying to improve, and I look forward to any further questions you have for me. I'll even make my responses to you in purple 😄

Edited by MelodicRose(OD)
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Rose,

 

I don't particularly have any questions. I have enough experience working with you to know that you do your best. The only thing I feel I have noticed is that you don't like to burden others with your problems and sometimes seem reluctant to ask for help. I know the social media team is your baby but honestly it has a lack of organization and progress. Other then that I think you are doing great. You work a ton and your schedule is ugh.... well awful to be honest I can't imagine working nights I would hate it! 🙂 I wish I could better support on the social media team. But without stepping on toes I truly think it needs more organization and it could be fruitful. I have the same feedback for JD. 

 

When time permits you do seem open to feedback I feel we just haven't had enough time to connect so I will do my part to try to catch you while you are on sometime. 

 

Best of luck! You have my support for a promotion but I would definitely like to see some of the things you mention you have been working on come to life a bit more.

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On 4/4/2021 at 3:15 AM, Dabomb(OD) said:

Rose,

 

I don't particularly have any questions. I have enough experience working with you to know that you do your best. The only thing I feel I have noticed is that you don't like to burden others with your problems and sometimes seem reluctant to ask for help. I know the social media team is your baby but honestly it has a lack of organization and progress. Other then that I think you are doing great. You work a ton and your schedule is ugh.... well awful to be honest I can't imagine working nights I would hate it! 🙂 I wish I could better support on the social media team. But without stepping on toes I truly think it needs more organization and it could be fruitful. I have the same feedback for JD. 

 

When time permits you do seem open to feedback I feel we just haven't had enough time to connect so I will do my part to try to catch you while you are on sometime. 

 

Best of luck! You have my support for a promotion but I would definitely like to see some of the things you mention you have been working on come to life a bit more.

I appreciate your honest feedback, that's my whole purpose of writing up this eval. You are right, I do dislike bothering others and asking for help but acknowledge it's something I need to start doing going forward. Regarding the social media team and wanting to provide better support, like I had mentioned in our private messages - I am more than willing to have some discussions on your ideas and feedback, just let me know when. I have my schedules out through July currently.. I am sure we can find a time that works for all of us to sit down and have a good chat. I'd actually look forward to it 😄

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Wow... A whole week gone by since anyone posted on your eval, so here's my first question: Nervous much? lol 😉

 

Your input and contributions to various topics both within and outside of the General's forums can certainly be described as one of your strengths since becoming a General, and you shouldn't sell yourself short there. Despite your work / IRL responsibilities resulting in more of a "behind the scenes" role in OD, you always seem to find a way to be available for members via text chats in discord. I for one, can appreciate and commend you on your efforts in that respect :thumbsup:. Now for the meat and potatoes!

 

On 4/1/2021 at 8:59 AM, MelodicRose(OD) said:

Like I had mentioned several times before, community game night are the best way to go, in my opinion. It'd be lovely to see them done more consistently and potentially more often rather than helter skelter adding them in every so often. We are originally all here to game, so finding games that we can play as large groups and come together on is lovely. When I was hosting the few Among Us night back in early winter - we had several people come in from D2/LoL/PoE/SC2, and I still see several of these faces interacting and gaming with each other on Discord. It's pretty cool to see and I consider that a success of sorts.

 

Question #2: So when's the next "among us / fall guys" night?

 

__________________

 

 

Making the shift to a 2-star Major General is sometimes a tricky one... Balancing the "gaming" aspect with the (your already strong) "admin" role, not to mention your IRL responsibilities vs. within OD, is no small ask for most. For my 3rd question, do you feel like you can, or have made that shift to be an effective guide / mentor that other Sr. Officers and 1-star generals alike come to for assistance / guidance, all while being able to maintain that ever-swaying balance between OD & IRL?

 

__________________

 

 

On 3/27/2021 at 5:39 AM, MelodicRose(OD) said:

To be open and transparent, I took an IA in early February as I thought I was going to be making another large move after a really great interview process, only to be shot down and declined the position. I was on IA for a couple of weeks to get my mental health back together (I had been on a downward spiral for a while.. Parents being super ill with covid, the loss of Miss Julie, super unhappy with my job, and then my “way out” taken away from me). I’m still working on it and my mental headspace is still not 100%, but I’ve been happier being back around the community.

 

Since your return from your recent IA in February, you seem to have come back 'swinging' in regards to your listed goals, contributions to discussions, etc.. Would you care to elaborate on how you have been able to work on getting back to the "right headspace" after facing such trying difficulties? (if you would rather not answer this question, I can respect that as well).

 

As always, I look forward to your answers 😃

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Just so it is known - I had to emegency travel to MI for a funeral and several other things. I will be here until the 19th. I will try to answer where I can, but my focus is on my family. ❤ All questions will definitely be answered by Monday night into Tuesday.

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On 3/27/2021 at 3:39 AM, MelodicRose(OD) said:

I am unsure if I deserve a promotion, if I am to be honest. I am uncertain if my activities and participation thus far prove that I am ready or worthy of the second star, but I want to use this as a learning opportunity and a moment to grow as a leader. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them and I will respond as soon as I can.

 

Taking a real life job for example, whenever people want to get a promotion, they need to be completely sure that they are deserving of a promotion, justify their actions are enough and that they should have more worth and value in the company. In order for me to support a promotion here, I need to see that confidence and willingness. So, I have two questions:

 

1.- I'll ask so you can reformulate if you wish, do you feel you deserve a promotion?

 

2.- Do you want to get promoted?

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On 4/14/2021 at 10:11 AM, MelodicRose(OD) said:

Just so it is known - I had to emegency travel to MI for a funeral and several other things. I will be here until the 19th. I will try to answer where I can, but my focus is on my family. ❤ All questions will definitely be answered by Monday night into Tuesday.

 

Kait, I am so sorry for your loss. I will await your return.

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I just arrived back in town and will be home for the foreseeable future. My grandmother is still extremely unwell, so if I have to be taken away again to continue to deal with such things, I will provide another update. For now, I shall answer your questions!

 

Compfreak:

On 4/12/2021 at 11:31 PM, CompFreak(OD) said:

Question #2: So when's the next "among us / fall guys" night?

You asked this question shortly after the announcement was made for the Among Us night on the 17th. As you know, since I dm'ed you, I couldn't attend anymore and Skooma thankfully was able to lead the game night for me as I was travelling. The next potential dates are either the weekend of May 8th/9th, or May 22nd/23rd. I'm leaning more towards the end of May dates as I am not on call, but knowing my luck that will be the weekend of the Admin/General meetings.. >.>

 

On 4/12/2021 at 11:31 PM, CompFreak(OD) said:

Making the shift to a 2-star Major General is sometimes a tricky one... Balancing the "gaming" aspect with the (your already strong) "admin" role, not to mention your IRL responsibilities vs. within OD, is no small ask for most. For my 3rd question, do you feel like you can, or have made that shift to be an effective guide / mentor that other Sr. Officers and 1-star generals alike come to for assistance / guidance, all while being able to maintain that ever-swaying balance between OD & IRL?

I feel like I can make that shift, and have somewhat proven that I can participate as a general (and in admin duties) while also bouncing around in a more social (gaming?) aspect. I hope to be able to further prove that going forward as I jump back into activity with the Outriders squad and potentially try my hand with Ark. I try to always make myself available, make sure I'm visible on Discord so that people know that I am here and will likely respond to any questions or concerns they bring forward. I have no intention on changing that or making myself less available unless something tragic happens 😛

 

On 4/12/2021 at 11:31 PM, CompFreak(OD) said:

Since your return from your recent IA in February, you seem to have come back 'swinging' in regards to your listed goals, contributions to discussions, etc.. Would you care to elaborate on how you have been able to work on getting back to the "right headspace" after facing such trying difficulties? (if you would rather not answer this question, I can respect that as well).

This question is no issue, I know not many people were aware of my reasonings behind taking an IA and why it was so short. February was a difficult month for me. I had been interviewing with a potential new employer that would get me out of my current very toxic work environment (many of you know how unhappy I am here) and then it fell through. Julie's loss hit me hard much later than it should've. I was working 14 days straight, 12 hour shifts for a period of time.. and then my mom got very very ill with Covid, to the point of nearly being hospitalized. My mental headspace was at rock bottom and I didn't really have much motivation to do anything other than sleeping and working. That IA request was something I hoped would let me focus on myself for a period of time - get me out of my apartment, go out and walk in the sun and be appreciative of what I've got. The reason is was so short was because I realized that I'm alone as hell out here in Kansas and OD has been my lifeline to friendship. I disappeared for a bit and instead of trying to become happier, I felt lonelier because I wasn't interacting with my friends I've made here. So, I came off of IA and jumped back into things as that felt most "right" to me. The thing that has helped keep me from slipping again has been setting limits. I work from home, I'm constantly on my PC and then I get off work and continue to sit on my PC. So, when I get days off.. I try to take at least one of my days as a "no pc day," so I can go outside and get fresh air to avoid burnout. I've taken up creative hobbies (coloring, aggressive nail art, etc) to keep myself busy on things and keep my stress low. I've continued my job hunt (after a long talk with Terra and some words of motivation that I needed more than I knew). I'm moving out of my current place because I've realized I absolutely hate my apartment lmao. I started gaming with humans again, which has been so so so good. It's been a lot of self reflection, pin-pointing what makes me unhappy, and working on making steps towards fixing those things. The past week has been hard, I've dipped a bit admittedly, but I know how to work towards bettering myself again so I will just continue to do that 😛

 

I hope my answers suffice. I noticed that you started with "Question #2".. this tilts me Comp 😛

 

Rag:

On 4/14/2021 at 4:07 PM, R.agnarok(OD) said:

1.- I'll ask so you can reformulate if you wish, do you feel you deserve a promotion?

 

2.- Do you want to get promoted?

  1. The purpose of me writing this eval is that I've been nominated several times since my promotion to 1* and I have declined every time. I do not feel like I am ready at this time, but I wanted to finally post an eval so that the community knew of what I have been up to and what my plans for the future are. My peers feel that I am deserving, and it is ultimately up to my peers, but I personally do not think I have done a whole lot since my last promotion - so if it were up to me I would probably wait. I wanted to use this as more of a feedback than not, and to sort of figure out why I keep getting put up for an eval >.>
  2. I do, eventually. I would be lying if I said I do not want to continue to move up through the ranks, but I want to do it when I feel I am comfortable and confident in my accomplishments thus far. Being scooted up through ranks is not something I am fond of, on any level of rank, I'd rather move up as someone who is confident that they have done enough to deserve it.

 

22 hours ago, Badboi(OD) said:

Kait, I am so sorry for your loss. I will await your return.

Thank you for your kind words, I truly appreciate them. I look forward to any questions or comments you shall provide 😄

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3 hours ago, MelodicRose(OD) said:

IThe purpose of me writing this eval is that I've been nominated several times since my promotion to 1* and I have declined every time. I do not feel like I am ready at this time, but I wanted to finally post an eval so that the community knew of what I have been up to and what my plans for the future are. My peers feel that I am deserving, and it is ultimately up to my peers, but I personally do not think I have done a whole lot since my last promotion - so if it were up to me I would probably wait. I wanted to use this as more of a feedback than not, and to sort of figure out why I keep getting put up for an eval >.>

  1. I do, eventually. I would be lying if I said I do not want to continue to move up through the ranks, but I want to do it when I feel I am comfortable and confident in my accomplishments thus far. Being scooted up through ranks is not something I am fond of, on any level of rank, I'd rather move up as someone who is confident that they have done enough to deserve it.

 

Thank you for your kind words, I truly appreciate them. I look forward to any questions or comments you shall provide 😄

Kait, I am so sorry for your loss.  I know it's been an extremely hard year for all of us.  I hope you soon find another job better suited to you and closer to home.  We all need family support, it's what makes life worth living.

 

I do have to say, I think you should wait on the 2 star for a few months.  As I stated in my previous comments, I have seen definite growth during your time as a one star, however, I do not see the connection or familiarity with those in other divisions.  You are quick to post in discord channels, but you don't actually come into the channel and get to know individuals, probably because you are shy.  Maybe you do and I have missed it.  I also have not seen any disputes resolutions you've been involved in.  I realize it is more difficult for a Community General to have these kind of interactions, but I also know that you have that skill within you, it just hasn't been all the observable.  Therefore, I am going to vote no on this promotion, but rest assured I will be observing and waiting for the next time you are up for promo.

 

 

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11 hours ago, RadarRick(OD) said:

Kait,  sorry for your loss.  Prayers to you and your family.

Thanks friend, I appreciate it ❤️

 

10 hours ago, Purplez(OD) said:

Kait, I am so sorry for your loss.  I know it's been an extremely hard year for all of us.  I hope you soon find another job better suited to you and closer to home.  We all need family support, it's what makes life worth living.

 

I do have to say, I think you should wait on the 2 star for a few months.  As I stated in my previous comments, I have seen definite growth during your time as a one star, however, I do not see the connection or familiarity with those in other divisions.  You are quick to post in discord channels, but you don't actually come into the channel and get to know individuals, probably because you are shy.  Maybe you do and I have missed it.  I also have not seen any disputes resolutions you've been involved in.  I realize it is more difficult for a Community General to have these kind of interactions, but I also know that you have that skill within you, it just hasn't been all the observable.  Therefore, I am going to vote no on this promotion, but rest assured I will be observing and waiting for the next time you are up for promo.

To start off, thank you for the kind words Purpz ❤️ The past year has been quite an eventful one and it seems 2021 doesn't want to let up. It is unfortunate, but we will get through it someway, somehow. You don't realize how much you will miss that family support.. or just being able to go see your family.. until you are not longer able to do it because it requires a 12-15 hour drive (yikes!). I've been lucky to have support here in OD, and that has somewhat held me together for the time being.

 

Regarding my eval, I am glad you were honest and I was kind of anticipating this kind of response to be honest with you. The point of these evals is to gain experience and grow, so your honesty and criticisms are welcomed and I understand the basis of your decision. Jumping into voice channels has always been a struggle for me, and you pinpointed the reason right on the head. Talking in voice makes me antsy, especially when it is in larger groups of people. I will try to make it more of a point to hang out in voice channels in the future, most likely to be found in Outriders & in Gamer's Lounge as that is where I tend to play the most. Text channels are my happy space, but improvement can be made 😄. On the topic of disputes, I haven't experienced much on the order of them (and very few have been brought to my attention), so I am unsure how to go into proving my capabilities of that without reaching my neck out for them - but I hope that I can prove that decision making skill in the future. 

 

Again, I appreciate the feedback and thank you for being honest with me Purpz ❤️

 

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18 hours ago, MelodicRose(OD) said:
On 4/13/2021 at 12:31 AM, CompFreak(OD) said:

Making the shift to a 2-star Major General is sometimes a tricky one... Balancing the "gaming" aspect with the (your already strong) "admin" role, not to mention your IRL responsibilities vs. within OD, is no small ask for most. For my 3rd question, do you feel like you can, or have made that shift to be an effective guide / mentor that other Sr. Officers and 1-star generals alike come to for assistance / guidance, all while being able to maintain that ever-swaying balance between OD & IRL?

I feel like I can make that shift, and have somewhat proven that I can participate as a general (and in admin duties) while also bouncing around in a more social (gaming?) aspect. I hope to be able to further prove that going forward as I jump back into activity with the Outriders squad and potentially try my hand with Ark. I try to always make myself available, make sure I'm visible on Discord so that people know that I am here and will likely respond to any questions or concerns they bring forward. I have no intention on changing that or making myself less available unless something tragic happens 😛

 

On 4/13/2021 at 12:31 AM, CompFreak(OD) said:

Since your return from your recent IA in February, you seem to have come back 'swinging' in regards to your listed goals, contributions to discussions, etc.. Would you care to elaborate on how you have been able to work on getting back to the "right headspace" after facing such trying difficulties? (if you would rather not answer this question, I can respect that as well).

This question is no issue, I know not many people were aware of my reasonings behind taking an IA and why it was so short. February was a difficult month for me. I had been interviewing with a potential new employer that would get me out of my current very toxic work environment (many of you know how unhappy I am here) and then it fell through. Julie's loss hit me hard much later than it should've. I was working 14 days straight, 12 hour shifts for a period of time.. and then my mom got very very ill with Covid, to the point of nearly being hospitalized. My mental headspace was at rock bottom and I didn't really have much motivation to do anything other than sleeping and working. That IA request was something I hoped would let me focus on myself for a period of time - get me out of my apartment, go out and walk in the sun and be appreciative of what I've got. The reason is was so short was because I realized that I'm alone as hell out here in Kansas and OD has been my lifeline to friendship. I disappeared for a bit and instead of trying to become happier, I felt lonelier because I wasn't interacting with my friends I've made here. So, I came off of IA and jumped back into things as that felt most "right" to me. The thing that has helped keep me from slipping again has been setting limits. I work from home, I'm constantly on my PC and then I get off work and continue to sit on my PC. So, when I get days off.. I try to take at least one of my days as a "no pc day," so I can go outside and get fresh air to avoid burnout. I've taken up creative hobbies (coloring, aggressive nail art, etc) to keep myself busy on things and keep my stress low. I've continued my job hunt (after a long talk with Terra and some words of motivation that I needed more than I knew). I'm moving out of my current place because I've realized I absolutely hate my apartment lmao. I started gaming with humans again, which has been so so so good. It's been a lot of self reflection, pin-pointing what makes me unhappy, and working on making steps towards fixing those things. The past week has been hard, I've dipped a bit admittedly, but I know how to work towards bettering myself again so I will just continue to do that 😛

 

I hope my answers suffice. I noticed that you started with "Question #2".. this tilts me Comp 😛

 

Thank you for taking the time to respond during this trying and difficult time for you - it shows the level of your commitment to the community. I would like to see you at the next rank soon, but only when you are ready for it. It would be a disservice to YOU as well as the community if we were to increase your rank, and therefor expectations of you, without you being up to the challenge. I will vote for you to stay at rank until such time that you feel you are ready to take the next steps. As we discussed privately, thoughts & prayers are with you, and we are here if you need to chat 😉.

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