Ray(OD)

Daww wook at da wittol puppies

It was an extremely hot day when Daniel and I went fishing. The occasional breeze did nothing to make the heat bearable. We were two big hairy chested men, thus we often contemplated whether we should shave or get waxed. While we conversing about our plight, Daniel left his pole on the edge of the boat, hoping for a bite. The waters become slightly turbulent when I returned from the kitchen. I had prepared two drinks; one contained significantly more alcohol than the other. My plan was to render Danny unconscious. and then I'd stick my fishing rod into the water to get a catch before he did. Unfortunately for me, my plan had gone awry because I ended up accidentally spilled both beverages on myself. Soaking wet and embarrassed, I had bent over to clean up the sticky mess I had made. After I stood back up, the clouds and weather started to change quickly. The skies darkened, heavy rain dominated the area, and the sound of thunder seemed dangerously close. Danny, who had been reading up on the Kardashians the entire time, glanced up and said "well, I guess I had planned for a shower anyways." Calling this man well prepared is a severe understatement. He just so happened to have his Rihanna brand umbrella to protect himself from the persistent downpour. While we were producing countermeasures against the unruly weather, both of our rods started shaking. Danny and I made way to the edge of the boat to analyze our catch. No bites for either one of us. Suddenly, seamen from a nearby vessel shot out a rope to help us get on board their ship. The boat we were on before crashed into a large cluster of rocks and water rapidly filled its cracks. Though Dan and I were distraught, we still wanted to thank the men who saved our lives. Bent Back Wilson was the most experienced seaman of crew, but didin't speak much. Big Booty Charles often spoke of his fantasy of finding grandiose treasure in the least expected of places, and Mother-in-Law Flanders took care of the ship and crew, but seemed oddly distant. What these three had in common though, was that they were seamen from the Salty Splatoon. I decided that I'd catch dinner with Dan's help to show our gratitude. When the skies cleared up and weather had become bearable again, we were lucky to both get a bite almost instantly. We reeled our lines back as we quickly as we could. There was no choice but to use the large net. During the unraveling of the instrument, a 30 feet long and 15 feet wide Tuna surfaced momentarily. This prompted Big Booty Charles to tell me "you're gonna need a bigger boat." Danny followed with "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish." The net was cast into the water, and we caught the big tuna. Despite being at our mercy, the tuna was nice and playful. We named it Jim. The end.

All country and pop songs are horrible.

Harvery Dent would be Harvey Al Dente if he was Italian.

@MooMoo(OD) It looks like he really wants to duel you.

Nobody: People who live by the countryside: "Oh deer."

How come the other Roman emperors didn't get a salad named after them?