It is with a heavy heart, that I have decided that for the betterment of my health and lifestyle choices that need to be made, that I officially step down. I will also be resigning at this time to pursue my health which is still seemingly deteriorating even with the work I’ve put in over the last 3.5 months to get out in front of it.
I want to apologize to everyone for being IA for the past 3.5 months, but it was something that I needed to do. It wasn’t until just recently did I begin to consider resignation as the best course for me to pursue. I know some of you when I reached out have urged against it, but there comes a time when you have to determine what is the best course of action for you and yourself as well as the community as a whole.
My mental health took a dive towards the end of last year, after nearly a year of struggling with it, I lost the energy to keep fighting it. It was a very dark place when I decided to take my IA. I’m still not completely out of it, but I have made improvements. I’ve leaned on some people who have offered, and I consider myself still standing here because of their help and support. I continue, day in and day out, to struggle to regain myself, to exercise and eat healthier, all in the hopes to stave off medical issues that have been looming on the horizon and rapidly closing. I’ve had some close calls, but nothing too serious yet; so now’s the time to do something about it.
And that brings me to this decision. I look forward to the future, and I don’t know when I’ll have the time and energy to contribute to OD. It’s a question I struggled with in my IA. I wanted nothing more to come back and be with everyone. I’ve made promises to come say hi or drop in and play, and they ultimately fizzle out due to other commitments or just having no energy or will to follow through with it. I apologize for that, as it wasn’t my intention to lie or mislead you.
I had told myself, that I would return by the end of this IA, even if I wasn’t ready. Though I realized, if I wasn’t ready, then I’d end up putting myself right back where I was when I took the IA. I have weighed many options in this decision, such as stepping down all the way to WO1 or even Enlisted. And while it might appear to help, I would still feel the obligation to help people, to be responsible, and I just don’t have the ability to be responsible for other people when I need to focus on myself and am in fact struggling with remaining responsible for my own self.
Anyway, that’s the reasoning behind this resignation. I want to take a moment to address some people in particular.
@CompFreak(OD) I know you asked for me to consider sticking around so that I could formally take you under my wing and train you to be my replacement. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to fulfill this request. Terra, Badboi, or R.agnarok will have to take on this request in my stead. Apologies on pushing it off on you guys. Beyond this request, you have a lot of potential. You have made some mistakes here and there, but nobody is perfect and devoid of mistakes. We’ve all made them. Just promise me you’ll learn from them and use them to make not only yourself a better person, but this wonderful community better. You're an asset to this community, and every time I pop my head back in, I want to see you remain here, and even take my spot soon. Consider that a final challenge from your superior officer.. and more so as your friend.
@Sil3NtKilL(OD) I remember when I first joined this community, and you were a 1* General at the time. It didn’t take long to fall under your wing. You helped train me to become who I am today and I credit pieces of even who I still retain to this training. It’ll be something I never forget and something I may never be able to repay. You supported me all the way up till the time that I put in my evaluation for Commander, and I thank you for that. It's been a pleasure working with you over the years.
@Tris(OD) You were another member who I worked very heavily with, especially while you were a Commander. We have a long history together, and it was an honor to officiate your wedding as a standing Commander. Frank and I joked that your wedding was meant to be because OD had 2 acting Commanders and an acting General attend and bless it. Though, to be honest, it was a blast to have met you irl and I look forward to keeping in contact with you on Facebook. Don't ever change my friend. And keep in touch 🙂 Though I may be leaving OD, my door and inbox will always be open.
@Badboi(OD) Frank, you and I go way back. We have not always been on the same side of decisions, but nevertheless, I do not believe the respect we ever had for one another wavered. And I truly honor the friendship that we’ve garnered and hope that we can remain in contact via Facebook. I hope to pop in from time to time and still see you around and doing what you do best.
@Terra Oh boy.. the AI and I have butt heads many times in my time here. Though many didn’t see them as they were in private one on one discussions. You were the source of many headaches for me.. as I’m sure I was for you on numerous occasions. Even as I’m typing up this resignation, I am flooded with memories of our interactions, the games we’ve played, the frustrations you’ve given me. I will truly miss these interactions. Even though you’re a major pain in the ass sometimes, OD is much better off for having you here. You have garnered a lot of respect here, and it’s something that’s hard to do.
@R.agnarok(OD) R.ag, you were there for me pretty much from the get-go. From the time that you first taught me how to program in PHP and MySQL (even if I didn’t let it stick and really pursue it at the time.) To the many times I’ve sought your advice to even just chatting. To challenging you to a duel in D2 and pwning you making me feel super powerful way back when to take down a Commander in a duel. So many good memories, and I suspect you will remain here with the community until it eventually dissolves, however long that’ll be. Don’t lose who you are, because you’re amazing. To everyone else, even if you think this guy’s inactive, I guarantee he’s right there at the center of the community. Not much happens he doesn’t know about. The guys intertwined in every corner of the inner workings of this community. While this wasn't something between you and I and even before my time, my favorite memory of something involving you was looking back on the logs of things you've done.. and you did this: Commander R.agnarok(OD) demoted Brigadier General Castigate(OD) to Colonel for made me load aim for nothing on Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:40 AM. I still laugh anytime I see this. xD
To everyone else, please don’t feel sad if I didn’t individually tag you, as I could sit here and give you the longest wall of text doing just that. I wanted to touch on a couple of people who truly made me who I am today, trained me and pushed me to do better, to be better. There's a whole slew of you.. many of who are no longer here. So thank you all. Thanks for making my time here something I'll never forget.
To the many people who’ve come and gone to this community in my tenure as Commander, I will miss all of you, to those I never got to meet, that is an unfortunate loss on my part. You, the members of this community are really what make this place so welcoming and great. I love all of you.
To those of you who wish to keep in touch with me, I would love to do so. If I don’t already have you on Facebook, please send me a message in my inbox here on the forums and I’ll get you the information to do so. Facebook is the best source to keep in touch with me, as I do not use Twitter or Instagram or anything else.
I hope to one day return and to periodically stop in and play games with people or just chat with people. But until that time, know that I will miss each and every one of you. As a final request, I request R.agnarok be the one to disable me. ❤️
With much love,