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Merica/Hectic's Apocalypse Contest!!

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The apocalypse has ended the world as we know it.  A virus has infected your fellow clan members.  Humanity hangs on the edge.  ZOMBIES roam the world trying to wipe humanity out.  The contest is simple.  Write what your plan would be to survive this apocalypse.  It can be funny or it can be serious, BUT be sure to use at least three (3) clan people in this plan.  Contest starts today, 8/10/18  and ends on Sunday, 8/12/18.

 

Merica has donated his winnings from his July runner prize.  This is the first of two contests in his name using those winnings.  

 

PRIZES:  150 first place fg donated by Merica       D2 gear donated by Hectic for Second place

 

Get to writing, be creative.  Oh man I can't wait to read these stories.  @Ray(OD) and @cuddlymace(OD) need to read these out loud in their whacky voices on TS HAHAHA

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Thanks Kon 🙂

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Ray’s Plan for a Zombie Apocalypse

 

Step 1: Head to France. Why? Because, as we all know, no one would take the French seriously, not even the zombies. Once I get to France, I’ll setup a base of operations in some giant Catholic Church and put up a huge neon light sign on the front that reads “Ray’s BDSM Dungeon”.

Step 2: Gather a crew. I would have @Sassy on my team to confuse the zombies with her poor spelling. In fact, the zombies would confuse her for a zombie because of her brainless spelling. This will be helpful as she can get us supplies and information. I would also have @TypeReaL(OD) on my group; he would be stoned 24/7 and could act like a zombie alongside @Sassy. The third addition to the squad would have to be @MooMoo(OD). Being a cow, he’d be great at offense and defense, and zombies don’t really care for any animal who aren’t humans. Then I would get @Terra to work on offense with @MooMoo(OD). Her ability would be to convince the zombies what they’re doing is wrong by reciting a long, elaborate, and elegant speech. The zombies would die from the logic and rationality of her arguments (their brains would not be able to process it). I would also have @Sassy and @Membership(OD) work together to work on a cure for the zombie virus. Being the leader, I’d naturally keep tabs on everything that’s going, list of supplies that we have/need, and appoint missions.

Step 3: Teach my team basic conversational French (@Terra and @TypeReaL(OD) may not have to go through this). This will allow us to recruit a bunch of French fodder and convince them to protect us for the sake of France. 

Step 4: Once @Sassy and @Membership(OD) finish working on a cure, we’ll test it out on @DBZ(OD) who would definitely get bit since he’s always AFK (but in real life he’d be daydreaming) to test the results. If the cure works, we can use it those who were recently bit and wipe out the rest of the zombies. 

 

Yeah... 
 

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You put a lot of thought into that. I always root for the zombies though.

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hmm , okie dokie I have a sativa dominant dab ready and ill get writing

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2 minutes ago, TypeReaL(OD) said:

hmm , okie dokie I have a sativa dominant dab ready and ill get writing

Looking forward to it lmao

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Ive written 6 different scenarios on my note pad now to pick the best one

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wow, zombies. that's cool. let me see. I am in. will write after the BBQ party this afternoon. 🙂

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    When the zombies take over the world, I will be at the local Costco.  Costco’s buildings are solid concrete.  The store has everything you need inside to survive on ... food, clothing, weapons and water.  Of course I will need people AND purple to keep myself sane.  Even more basic survival tactics include having laughter.  CuddlyMace would be there hillbilly trash talking to the zombies as if they could understand him.  It is fascinating to watch the zombies actually listening to him, probably thinking what a tasty treat he would be.  Then, of course, Bumpykins dances through Costcos’ halls saying What’s happening girl, how you doing today?  
    Some of the hardcore guys, Trolled, Rich, Matchew and WilTurnip are busy hotwiring cars and moving them to surround the building.  Pops and Sassy eagerly empty bags of dirt outside to create a perfect garden.  Pops has to have his pink flamingos even though Sassy is yelling, you bloody wanker, we can’t eat flamingos!  The resident pot heads, unnamed to protect their privacy, argue with Pops for a piece of his lawn for their grow.  
    To make sure the community survives, a process for new potential members is put into place.  Criteria is set up which includes the new members’ ability to contribute.  For instance, can they make a weapon out of just about anything?  Can they sing off key like Ray?  Can they contribute music like Everix?  Finally, and most importantly, do they bring anything purple to the compound?
    Because it is survival of the fittest during this deadly time, DBZ sets up practice fighting.  He watches in amazement as Aaron, even with all those hours of playing Call of Duty, positively cannot hit the target with the bow and arrow.  DBZ sends Aaron back to the garden to tend the plants.  As the days pass, Sunset mows down zombie after zombie using only a butcher knife.  
    It’s awesome watching the community come together in this great time of horror finding humour and laughter where they can.  They chuckle to themselves just hearing Sassy shout “Go to sleep you bloody wankers!”

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My plan for surviving the zombie apocalypse.  

 

I'd seek out several members to help me survive.  The first one would be Hectic as he'd be the hero of the group, the one that's great at everything with no flaws.  The Gary Stu if you will.  He'd be the one that would keep us all together with his thoughtful and well timed speeches.  He'd be the one that came up with all the plans and keep us safe.  When we did have to fight off zombies, Hectic could just kill them a hundred at a time by his intense manly stare.  All the ladies would want him and all the men would want to be him.  Hectic would be the super cool, super awesome, super wonderful one of the group.  I can't say enough about how great Hectic is.

 

There would be a few more I'd search out like Purple for the upbeat attitude and her keen design sense, and Ray to keep us laughing, and Mr. Kon for charming the female zombies into helping us, just the cute ones though.  

 

I'd also seek out one other and that is Merica.  Merica would be almost as cool as Hectic, he could kill 99 zombies at a time with his steely gaze.  Merica and Hectic would be the ones that save humanity from the zombies, the rest of us would just be along for the ride.  

 

Okay now for the plan.

 

I'd just do whatever the powerful, wise, intelligent Hectic told me to do and I'd have faith that he'd keep us all alive and well.  

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jesus Im not even half way done yet but Im cramming away at it and i Got gold I tell yah

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Posted (edited)

My plan to survive in the zombie apocalypse

(I want to make it a funny Chinese farmer way. so, no guns or the similar fire weapons).

1, plant a lot of beans in my yard, back yard, around the house, roof of house. and put the walnuts around the house as many as possible. oh, the sunflowers will be planted close to the house. (just kidding  😂)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1(for real), arm myself with crossbow, not the Buriza-Do Kyanon ballista, but the Demon Machine Chu-Ko-Nu. why? I said, this is a Chinese way! So I must choose the weapon named after Chuko Liang who was an ancient Chinese wise lived in the Three kingdoms era(A.D. 220-280). he is one of the most wise 
military advisers in Chinese history. Chuko Liang invented a kind of crossbow that can shoot 10 arrow continuously and rapidly.

2, the other weapon I choose the Bing Sz Wang. another weapon which has the Chinese background. 

now, let's go!

 

The story begins:

@longlife(OD)finds him in dark when he waked up. he feels thirsty very much, like he has been sleeping for a century.  @longlife(OD)gets up and walks to the kitchen. he lives in a small house in a small town near Boston. It's summer, but he still feel a little chilly.
"strange!" @longlife(OD) sniffs and opens the fridge. he grabs a bottle of milk and drinks. quickly, he feels sick and begins vomiting.
"ah!WTF!" he picks up the milk bottle and checks it out. and he finds that the milk looks like bad. but he bought the milk yesterday in Stop and Shop.
"ok, bad luck!" longlife(OD) walks to the window and looks at the street. some withered leaves on the road, and white plastic bags are flying. the street is still empty in 10 minutes. it is not as usual. this is a busy street in front of his house. and it's week day, there should be a lot of traffic today, since it's rush hour in the morning. but, still empty in another 10 minutes.
finally, longlife(OD) feels a little afraid after standing for 20 minutes on the window. then he call his friend @MineNotYour(OD). in  a few minutes, there is no one answering the calling. "maybe he is driving? what time is it?" longlife(OD) looks at the clock. it is 11:36. 
"OH NO~~I AM LATE! @Purplez(OD) must eat me!! " he jumps and rushes to put on clothes. Purplez(OD) is his superior-visor in company, a beautiful blond lady, charming and professional. he never wants to piss her off. 
as he walks to the door, he finds something that seems impossible in reality. a half body in his yard. a human body, a half human body!
OMG! what happened?!  the half human body looks cracked, and the dard brown blood spread all the yard.
He calls 911 immediately. no answer. calls again, no answer. calls again, no answer as well. he back steps to the coach. silent, and breathe heavily.
suddenly, his phone rings. it is @MineNotYour(OD), he picks it up and hears a nervous sound:"Hey Longlife, listen very carefully! it happened! the apocalypse, all the zombies walks around the city and town. be careful! grab your weapon, and stay home. lock the door and window. I will go to your home."
"the zombie apocalypse!? are you drunk, budy? you must hung out with @Sassy last night. I know you are after her. So, tell me the detail about the last fantasy night ! hahaha " longlife(OD) shouts to the phone and laughs very loudly.
"shhh! you idiot! you will make you in danger! keep low voice! as quiet as possible! don't play fool! I will come to you." minenotyour(OD) warns in the phone and hang up the phone.
at that moment, longlife(OD) realizes that what happened to the half body in his yard. when he walks to the window and want to check the half body again, he sees horrible scene: several strange "man" are walking towards his house slowly, some of them seems limbless, and hurt badly. dark face, blood in their clothes.
zombies!! zombies!!! zombies!!!! in ! real ! life ! in ! real ! world !
Lonflife(OD) becomes calm and rushes to the basement. he has a Chu-Ko-Nu crossbow and hundreds of bolts, and his sword the Bing sz Wang. Longlife(OD) used to be a Kungfu master in China, and moved to USA 10 years ago. he never showed his skill of martial art to crowd. 
and he has a set of Chinese traditional armor too.
Longlife(OD) arms himself quickly and back to the front door.
the zombies are standing in front of his house. and the half body begins to move too.
"OK, let's go. ’I must save myself and the other people ---the human alive". Longlife(OD) opens the door and shouts: " walk away or I will hurt you!"
the zombies rush to him, and the first one is cut by longlife(OD)quickly, and be frozen. quickly, the other zombies are frozen when they get attack by the sword.
then they are cut into pieces very quickly.
Longlife(OD) walks out of the door, stands and looks at the street, more and more zombies are moving towards his house. and a pickup truck is coming, that's minenotyour(OD).
Longlife(OD) runs to the truck and zombies while swings his sword.

 

"survive or die! I will survive with this sword and Chu-Ko-Nu crossbow, and my martial art skills! Long life never die~~"

it is not the last words of Longlife(OD).

 

The winds rises, the yellow leaves flies into the sky, like dancing with music, gracefully and quickly.

The light of the sword shimmers the cloudy day, the sound of arrows echos, like the horn of war, sharply and loudly.

The warriors fights in the streets, the bravery broadcast widely on the large land, like the poem of legend, glorious and happy.

The adventure starts in the history, the story will be endless in the future, like the tale of heroes, mystical and funny.

Edited by longlife(OD)
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22 hours ago, Purplez(OD) said:


    When the zombies take over the world, I will be at the local Costco.  Costco’s buildings are solid concrete.  The store has everything you need inside to survive on ... food, clothing, weapons and water.  Of course I will need people AND purple to keep myself sane.  Even more basic survival tactics include having laughter.  CuddlyMace would be there hillbilly trash talking to the zombies as if they could understand him.  It is fascinating to watch the zombies actually listening to him, probably thinking what a tasty treat he would be.  Then, of course, Bumpykins dances through Costcos’ halls saying What’s happening girl, how you doing today?  
    Some of the hardcore guys, Trolled, Rich, Matchew and WilTurnip are busy hotwiring cars and moving them to surround the building.  Pops and Sassy eagerly empty bags of dirt outside to create a perfect garden.  Pops has to have his pink flamingos even though Sassy is yelling, you bloody wanker, we can’t eat flamingos!  The resident pot heads, unnamed to protect their privacy, argue with Pops for a piece of his lawn for their grow.  
    To make sure the community survives, a process for new potential members is put into place.  Criteria is set up which includes the new members’ ability to contribute.  For instance, can they make a weapon out of just about anything?  Can they sing off key like Ray?  Can they contribute music like Everix?  Finally, and most importantly, do they bring anything purple to the compound?
    Because it is survival of the fittest during this deadly time, DBZ sets up practice fighting.  He watches in amazement as Aaron, even with all those hours of playing Call of Duty, positively cannot hit the target with the bow and arrow.  DBZ sends Aaron back to the garden to tend the plants.  As the days pass, Sunset mows down zombie after zombie using only a butcher knife.  
    It’s awesome watching the community come together in this great time of horror finding humour and laughter where they can.  They chuckle to themselves just hearing Sassy shout “Go to sleep you bloody wankers!”

hahaha, I love costco too. there are so many grocery there. if there is a home depot nearby, that will be perfect, you can get weapons too. haha

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Posted (edited)

heres a teaser 😛

Quote

Luckily Type has a Texas Speed built 427 with just the right amount of bald eagles to do it for dale

 

@Hikato hahahhaah

Edited by TypeReaL(OD)

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Posted (edited)

how many 4th wall breaks I dunno 64 maybe hahahaha forgot @MooMoo(OD)

Edited by TypeReaL(OD)
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Well, thats kinda tricky since i dont know many people in the clan yet, but damn, there are too many zombies, I have to choose. So, i'd whould have to pick @Sassy, since she told me she is the best recruiter ever and against zombies, number is important! well now that i probably have a big group, i need a bait and @Ray(OD) seems to speak a lot, just in the case that i need to distract the zombies for me to run and live, or to use the distraction as a way to lure the zombies away from some store or something like that for my group to gather some supplies. ok, big group, supplies, what's left? ah! a nice place to stay, with defences and all, well for that we need time, so @Ray(OD) will have to keep the zombies busy, and @Sassy will have to recruit people who knows how to build up a cool place, in order for me to rest in peace there (or not). But the place, no matter how great it its, cant defend it self, i need some warriors. So the next guys for my party will be @Ghost(OD), @Skribbzz(OD) and @Grey(OD), well, if they can clear chaos baal and uber that easy, whats some zombies after all? zombies only appear in a1 and a2, cant be that hard in real life, they'll manage it. and to complete the group i should have @Purplez(OD) and @Nymathin(OD) to recite some poems to us, make everybody happy. and if we can overcome the zombies we will need @MERICA(OD) to lend us some gold to rebuild society as we know... cant be cheap after all.

(guys i hope i didnt offend anyone but the english language in my text. and if i did im very sorry!)

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I enjoyed you entry alot renatojcs!  I had to trouble reading your English, so quit worrying haha.  Sounds like you have a plan.

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Winners:  

 

First Place goes to @TypeReaL(OD)  

Second Place goes to:  @nymathin

 

TypeReal I need your JSP name to send you the fg prize!  Nymathin please see Hectic for the D2 gear prizes.  Thanks to everybody for playing.  Great entries!

 

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TypeReaL@jsp

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Thank you @renatojcs(OD)

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